The Art of Seduction (2001) studies the differential game of seduction, explaining why seduction originates in the human mind, and attractive people know the trick very well. The book also explains strategies for creating excitement, disorienting audiences, igniting passion, and stimulating emotions. These ways will help seduce the target successfully.
This book is for
- Those who want to learn the art of seduction;
- Historians want to study famous historical stories;
- Psychological researchers.
About the author
Robert Greene is a bestselling author. He is the author of 48 Key Principles of Power , 33 Strategies for War and Mastery.
What does this book have for you? Master the language of love.
In English, the word "seduction" is derived from a Latin root word seducere , meaning "to lead astray." We all secretly want to be seduced, to be pulled out of the cycle of routine and into the drama of creativity and opportunity. Being seduced doesn't mean falling in love with someone, but being seduced can be the start of a long and strong relationship.
So how to seduce a person? The key is to build anticipation, fantasy, and attraction – techniques you'll learn in this summary. But, first, remember this: Don't let others think you're teasing and manipulating them as that will create distrust and hostility.
Remember, the line between love and hate is thinner than you think.
In this summary, you will learn:
- How Cleopatra seduced Caesar;
- Why opposite personalities attract each other; and
- Having perfectly healthy teeth can be seductive.
Immerse yourself in your subject's space, but don't show too much interest.
A true seductress knows that life can be quite tedious, so they rely on grace and creativity to ignite their partner's desires and desires. This is not easy at all. An indirect approach must be taken to recklessly arouse the imagination of the opponent.
The first lesson of seduction is to show that you're not too interested. First, don't be too rude, don't make it too obvious what you want. You should be crooked and vague.
If you approach your audience too enthusiastically, you will become devalued in their eyes. On the contrary, you will be more successful if you do not reveal your cards too soon. In the art of seduction, it's best to let the other person approach you first, making them think they're the one taking the initiative.
Create a neutral impression: highlight yourself, but don't directly approach the audience.
In fact, that's how the duke of Lauzun approached the countess of Montpensier at King Louis XIV's Palace.
When the countess first met the duke, she fell in love with the notorious girl-slayer Lothrio.
But during their subsequent meeting at the castle, the duke appeared rather uninterested. However, after a few private conversations, the countess became interested in conversing with him. Not long after, he became her confidant. All he does is play the role of a friend and is always by his subject's side.
The countess was intrigued. Could their friendship turn into something else? How could the duke not be interested in one of the most beautiful and aristocratic women in France right now?
Lauzun's approach is slow and steady. He was careful not to sound too concerned too soon. The Duchess was intrigued and was the first to confess her feelings to Lauzun – what she wanted was not just the duke, but a marriage too!
A seductive master is like a spider, weaving a web that is strong, durable, and unrecognizable.
Once you have your audience hooked, start sending conflicting signals.
In essence, seduction is a psychological game. So, what's the best way to get someone to notice you, so that she can't stop thinking about you without thinking of anything else?
First, you must stimulate the target with your appearance or your actions. Then start sending conflicting signals.
We are all drawn to people who are difficult to understand – the kind of people who are unpredictable and strange. You should act mysterious so that your target thinks you are deep and thorough.
Create complexity and contradictions.
For example, you might appear innocent, but then look flirty. Or maybe mix a sharp intelligence with some shyness.
Gender identity should also be utilized. For example, a man can enhance his feminine appearance through his clothes or gestures, but still have a masculine look or talk about masculine issues.
It should also be a bit vague and occasionally disinterested in the subject matter.
That is exactly how Joséphine de Beauharnais seduced Napoleon Bonaparte, and became his wife, even though he was one of the greatest French military geniuses in history, who could easily have chosen a woman. female I want. She attracted Napoleon through her polite manners, inviting him to her regular parties where she focused solely on him, no matter how many men surrounded her.
And what does she do once she has aroused Napoleon's passions? She began to ignore him and turn down invitations to campaign with him in Italy. Napoleon was enraged – but then she solved the problem by writing his most passionate letters.
What is the lesson? Don't be conquered easily. You should tease and flirt but always be ready to take a step back and be independent.
Use your partner's insecurities to make him want you more.
When do you most want to get attention and affection from others? Maybe that's when you feel like something is missing in your life. The reality is: You can't seduce someone who is already completely satisfied with his life.
Therefore, you should show that you know how to ease the other person's pain and feelings of emptiness.
We all have moments of self-doubt. Yes, we know how to hide our insecurities, but even if no one knows about them, that doesn't mean they don't last, don't torment us continuously.
When we fall in love, it's mainly because we believe our partner can fill those existing gaps, whether we're worried about the future, insecure about our looks or intelligence, or just simply a feeling of depression.
This is true not only in love, but also in business and politics. The “charming” people in these areas create the impression that buying a product or voting for a particular politician will improve your life.
Next, you should find a way to show your superiority so that your target is eager to prove that they are worthy of you.
In fact, that's how Cleopatra seduced Julius Caesar. She mentioned her ancestor Alexander the Great – the outstanding military genius in conversations.
This excites Caesar. Cleopatra's mockery stirred up all the anxieties and insecurities in a belligerent Caesar. You have to prove yourself to her!
However, you shouldn't be too serious about toying with your partner's self-esteem. Otherwise, the person may feel unworthy of your affection!
An effective way to make the other person less defensive is to make him or her the center of attention. As they feel comfortable, you can gradually begin to regain the upper hand.
Now, let's study the best way to enter the subject's world.
Use "sweet honey" to compliment your opponent's most outstanding features.
Do you know how hunters catch small birds like larks? By using a mirror. When the lark sees itself in the mirror, it indulges in its mating dance. It loses all sense of its surroundings and becomes an easy prey.
You can also appeal to your target this way: hold a mirror to show them your best selves.
This is an effective way because we are the least defensive when we are praised. When we are told that we are beautiful, smart, or unique, our self-esteem increases, and this is something we quickly become addicted to.
That was the method Jeanne Poisson, later the Marquise de Pompadour, used when she seduced the French king Louis XV and became his mistress in the 18th century.
Louis XV, always in the shadow of his predecessor – the “Sun King” Louis XIV – turned life into gambling and hunting.
But Poisson made him believe in himself: he had to be a respected and wise man, and overcome his reputation as an indifferent and absent-minded king.
She created architectural projects that he could advise on, and even built a theater to perform plays that made him an artistic icon.
She unearthed the qualities deep inside him, and before long, he was completely infatuated with her.
To do so, you should highlight the other person's character, qualities, and personality.
We are attracted to people with similar temperaments to us. Deep down, we're all narcissists, and we're attracted to like-minded people, with similar tastes and experiences.
Constantly changing and paying attention to the little things!
Once you've got your partner's attention, it's time to take control. Play with their emotions and make them curious.
You can do this by behaving erratically. The secret here is novelty, suspense and spontaneity. If it is too bland, the other party will soon lose interest.
We all love the thrill. Just think about watching a movie or reading a book. We are happy to let stories guide us through twists and turns.
This is a characteristic of the art of seduction. There are many ways to make the other person nervous. Just have to be creative. See it as an interesting challenge.
Can take your opponent to new and exciting places. Maybe change your style a little differently, or give unexpected gifts.
The best surprises are those that reveal your rich personality. People tend to judge others immediately after meeting them, and, since first impressions aren't always the best, it's important to combat misjudgments.
A little change can bring something new. You may be shy and reserved at first; but then reveal the daring or adventurous side.
Another way to attract the other side is to use your talents to attract and pique their interest.
Highlight the splendor of your appearance. It's okay to brag a little. It can be attracted by clothing, jewelry, perfume or the atmosphere that your home interior evokes.
On this point, this is Jeanne Poisson's preferred way. She welcomed Louis XV into her warmly lit room and applied an attractive perfume. Her outfit is different each time and always carries a small trinket to entice the king.
There will come a time when you need to prove you're willing to do anything for them.
As our ancestors used to say, actions speak louder than words. And that's absolutely true in the art of seduction.
When the time comes, it is important to demonstrate that you are a virtuous person, someone who can act selflessly. This will remove any doubts the other person may have about you and they will start to really trust you.
That is what made Napoleon's sister, Pauline Bonaparte, attracted to Jules de Canouville. Famous for her love affairs, this girl never fell in love with anyone for more than a few weeks.
But it was thanks to the selflessness of the dentist Canouville that made Pauline fall in love with her. Not long after they met, Pauline had a toothache. Canouville advised her to have her tooth extracted, but she could not bear the pain.
He tried to comfort me and explained that the extraction procedure was very simple. Pauline didn't believe it, she wanted clear proof. Without thinking twice, Canouville ran to his dentist and asked the experts to extract a perfectly healthy tooth of his. This selfless act won Pauline's heart.
But, of course, you don't have to make too many sacrifices to prove your own worth. Watch for opportunities, and if they aren't, create them.
There will be times when your partner needs something, like solving a problem or a little help. Don't ignore these. Once you get the hang of it, do more than is required. Your kindness will be appreciated. Make sure your effort is noticed, but, if necessary, mention it gently.
For this to work, you'll need to be aware of the other person's needs. There's no need to do the heavy lifting if the other party doesn't need it!
Let your opponent's childhood memories fuel your conquest.
Childhood memories can provoke all kinds of strong emotions, from tenderness to feelings of abandonment. And once those memories have been unearthed, the other person will open up more to you.
In fact, you can use your partner's memories to strengthen your emotional connection.
You probably know that many of Freud's female patients had a crush on him. Well, this happens because Freud is present when patients recall moments from their childhood, creating a feeling of deep connection.
When Freud tapped into the memories of patients, especially those deeply connected to their fathers, he was present but aloof. Patients show strong feelings for the person who is quiet and caring for them, treating him or her like a father. This effect, known as transference, is an effective method of Freud's treatment, as it revives long-repressed emotions.
We long for the youthful days when we were happy, unfettered and secure. If you can stimulate these emotions, your partner will soon associate these emotions with you. This means they will also express all kinds of fantasies to you, including romantic and sexual feelings.
To make that happen, start by becoming a good listener, like a psychiatrist. Let your partner talk about their childhood, prompting them to recall memories, and in the process, gather details about their weaknesses and emotional triggers.
However, keep it separate from the subject's feelings. Instead, listen to what they say or don't say, and notice things that are often repeated.
Then, once you know what childhood attachments they have or what they remember about their parents, use that information. You can take on the role of caregiver or think of ways to meet your partner's deepest needs. They may need protection, discipline, or direction.
The key is listening.
If you find anything that makes you unattractive, get rid of them.
Have you ever been rejected by someone on the first meeting? It could be because you have displayed a certain trait that is very unattractive. This is a lesson to keep in mind.
The important thing when seducing a person is not to display unattractive traits.
There are three main characteristics.
First, show that you are narrow-minded.
Those who cannot be materially generous will likely not be emotionally generous either. Being stingy about money is a sure sign that you will be stingy emotionally.
Worse still, if you are not aware that you are stingy, you will still think that you are noble. You will be seen as a loud empty can.
Second, lack of humor.
A lack of humor is a sign of more serious problems. If you are rigid mentally, even physically, it shows that you do not know how to adapt to new situations. You will follow a few basic “rules” and expect everyone to follow them too. Also, if you are lacking a sense of humour, you will not enjoy life. Perhaps you will also be too sensitive and unable to play with your own pleasure.
Showing that you are afraid is unattractive. That makes you not attractive to anyone.
Third, lack of attention won't help at all.
If you don't adapt to the situation or can't subtly understand the other person, you will only cause aversion, especially in relationships. Not only is this frustrating, but it's also the opposite of what we've learned about the art of seduction, which relies on the use of details and the little things.
Just remember, if you recognize these traits in yourself, quit.
Important messages in this book:
To seduce someone, you must maintain the upper hand and understand what attracts others. Use the power of psycho-engineering to get your audience's attention. Be confident, make them feel attuned, and seduce your target by being in tune with their feelings.
Use subtlety and mystery, and attention to detail. Control your attitude and behavior and perhaps most importantly, always be unpredictable.
Be with your friends and fans.
To make yourself more attractive, make your audience see you surrounded by friends or people who like you. Other people's opinion of you will influence the opinion of your audience and the more fans you have around, the more attractive you will become in their eyes.
Recommended reading: The Game , Neil Strauss
The Game (2005) gives readers an inside look at the "sleeping community" of men desperate to convince women to sleep with them. The summary will share the advice of a seduction master and his successes in the art.